Since it is no secret that I'm the slowest Emmett and that I was behind the last place guy in this race, I decided to do my race report in the form of my thoughts. Below is a picture of the elevation changes throughout the race. Yes, anytime that thing is going up, you can bet I was getting dropped by someone.
Pre-race thoughts:
I can't wait for this thing to be over. Maybe if I was out on my bike right now I wouldn't be so nervous...
John and my Dad seem to be taking care of support and SAG issues...hope they don't forget about me...
I arrive at John's house in Midway the night before around 9:30. Jackie and I are going to spend the night so we don't have to drive as far in the morning. I then realize I forgot my race packet, including my number. Idiot!! I knew I hated this race already. We drive back down to Provo to pick it up and I really just wanted to call it quits right there. I didn't so we drove back up to Midway and got there about 11:00pm. I tied to understand what we were doing about the support but I figured I'd be so far behind and that I'd stop at all of the neutral feed zones and fill up there.
Why do all these races have to start at such unfriendly hours. Honestly, give me a race with a 9:00 am start time and I'm there...
I hand off my water bottles to the neutral guy. They're empty. "Umm, did you want to put water in these?" "Uh, yeah, let's do that. I don't really know what I'm doing" We filled up the water bottles but I was never able to find that guy during the race so I kept the same water bottles the whole time (except for when I took my Dad's half empty water bottle at Sundance)
The Race
Mile 0.8 - Shoot, I'm already in last place...going to be a long day
Mile 1.3 - Old school, Dad put his tire on backwards. Taded! He's stopping to change it so at least I'm not in last place anymore.
Mile 6.2 - 7 mph up this hill, not a bad pace...not. Oh well, the other group will hopefully catch me just in time to go down this hill
Mile 9.0 - And here they come, team Larry H. Miller and team Xango. These guys probably won't mind if I stay back here out of their way. Another creech chilling in the back with me comes over and says "hey, I don't mind letting them do all the work. This is awesome!" I give him a nod and a smile but think, what a kook!
Mile 17.9 - I wish the whole race was like this. I just got to make sure I don't lose too much ground on this little climb coming up...It's going to be so nice when this climb is over...I've always wanted to bike down the canyon...
Mile 22.2 - Shoot, I'm losing them.
Mile 22.4 - Ya, they're gone...
Mile 24.7 - Gosh dang it, I don't think any of these guys have gone through 'Bob Emmett's School of Cycling Etiquette and Common Sense'
Mile 31.2 - There's John and my Dad! Hmm, looks like bike trouble. This could be my ticket out. I'll offer John my bike, tell him to hop on and go catch the leaders. This is perfect, I can get out of this race but almost in a noble way. I can take his bike back to his house and climb back in bed with Jackie..."Don't stop, we got it. We'll catch up with you!" Denied it! Dang it, I stopped long enough to lose the group.
Mile 32.3 - left to John's house, right to keep racing, left to John's house, right to keep...
Mile 40 - Dang it! They did catch me, just like they so assuredly said they would. Why am I so slow. Oh well, maybe I'll beat them someday...maybe...at least now I have someone to follow to the Sundance exit.
Mile 46.5 - I wish I could listen to music while I ride, then I wouldn't have all these thoughts slowing me down even more. Maybe I could do a post about my thoughts during the race...
Mile 53.5 - Hmm, looks like someone dropped their Optygen pills. Can't blame, I can't really swallow those things myself.
Mile 55.7 - So I passed 4 people on the entire climb, although, I should probably only count it as two people, since it was the same two people twice.
Mile 63.2 - Is this guy really introducing himself again to me? I just talked to him near the top of the Alpine Loop. He's from North Carolina and not used to this altitude, ya, I know that already. I won't make the mistake this time of telling him I've been in Miami and that I'm also not ready because it's my 6th ride of the year because when I told him that last time, he told me he was on his 5th ride of the year. I don't want him to one up me again.
Mile 71.9 - There is nothing worse than going 4.8 mph and having someone pass you on a bike going 4.9 mph. I wonder how long this guy is going to talk to me. Maybe I should try to speed up or slow down...I can't really speed it up though and I don't think I can go much slower so it looks like I'm stuck talking with this guy about his kids, house, and whatever else he chooses.
Mile 78.2 - Where is everyone? I can't see anyone a mile ahead or a mile behind me. Maybe I really am in last place? No, because those two people I passed near Sundance haven't passed me so I can't be in last last place.
Mile 78.5 - I shouldn't be spending my Saturday mornings on these 5-7 hour long rides. I should be going to that yard sale right there, that is what I should be doing. I could really use some barn style furniture...
Mile 79.1 - That's the third Optygen pill I've seen now. Should I go back and see if I can try to get it down. What's the "five seconds" rule with pills? You give most food 5 seconds on the ground until it's no good, but I'll definitely give Oreos a little longer than that, maybe like 30 seconds. I imagine pills stay good for quite a while...
Mile 81 - Hmm, it's 12:30 and I'm still a little ways from the bottom of little cottonwood canyon. I'll need at least an hour and a half from there so it looks like I won't finish before the cutoff time at 2:00pm. 15 miles to go but most of it uphill so it will take me somewhere between 2 and 3 hours. I'll see what Mom is up to...
Mile 83.9 - That shade on the sidewalk looks pretty nice. Ya, I think I'll go ride over there...
Mile 84.2 - I need to find some way to entertain myself on these rides...I got it...I'll ask all these spectators the same question..."hey, how many guys are ahead of me?" "...like 2, you're the third guy we've seen!" "..oh just one, go catch him!" Then I found the guy that couldn't lie, "to be honest, a lot. You're pretty far back.."
Mile 84.7 - That lady just told me to "Keep it up". Now what exactly does she want me to keep up? My 5 mph pace? My last place position? My tired legs? My upset stomach? I don't really want to 'keep up' anything about my current situation, why does she?
Mile 85.3 - Phew, Kristin is just down the road to pick me up. I'll stop at the church parking lot and find some shade while I wait. Then I'll proceed to leave my wheel in the parking lot after we have the rest of my bike in the car....
Well, I wussed out from finishing the race. It would have been nice to finish but I'm afraid I might have had to pull over to let the pros finish before me even after they gave me a four hour head start.
